Sunday, January 29, 2006

Oh, the Rapture!


The aforementioned Gary North:

...in order for most of today's Christians to escape physical death, two-thirds of the Jews in Israel must perish, soon. This is the grim prophetic trade-off that fundamentalists rarely discuss publicly, but which is the central motivation in the movement's political support for the State of Israel.

It should be clear why they believe that Israel must be defended at all costs by the West. If Israel were removed militarily from history prior to the Rapture, then the strongest case for Christians' imminent escape from death would have to be abandoned. This would mean the indefinite delay of the Rapture. The fundamentalist movement thrives on the doctrine of the imminent Rapture, not the indefinitely postponed Rapture.

Every time you hear the phrase, "Jesus is coming back soon," you should mentally add, "and two-thirds of the Jews of Israel will be dead in `soon plus 84 months.'" Fundamentalists really do believe that they probably will not die physically, but to secure this faith prophetically, they must accept the doctrine of an inevitable future holocaust.


The Foreign Policy of 20 Million Would-Be Immortals

Naomi Wolf's Conversion: A Meditation

Naomi Wolf has found Jesus. This should be entertaining. Its one of those events where everyone rolls their eyes - blue state and red state alike.

I found Jesus a number of years ago. Anyone who knows me knows that. Anyone who knows me also knows that I am pretty divided about that.

This is one of these coming-of-age things that seem personally profound...but also limited to a particular moment in history and in a particular culture. In the past people did not so much "find Jesus", as get found. In the past, announcing that you had "found Jesus" would have made as much sense as discovering that you had a name.

Nonetheless this is one of those odd events that seems to be occurring with increasing frequency. Last year... or was it the year before?... Jane Fonda found Jesus. Then it was Anne Rice... now Naomi Wolf. I have an issue with public conversions, but its my issue, not theirs. At this point I wish them well, and now this polemic turns a corner.

It is damned easy to become a born-again Christian in the United States as of 28-Jan-2006.

And that term: "Born Again"... Throughout the history of Christianity, in all of its glories and horrors for over 2,000 years, this type has been the leading market-brand for only about 75. It speaks to a particular type of construct which exists primarily because of a reactionary movement in the early 1900's: Christian Fundamentalism.

Give them their due. They were the hard-core who would not give an inch on Bible Inerrancy, evolution, or traditional ethics. As such, they maintained a strident and insistant stance that harkened to Luther and Calvin. Like the Reformers, they were utterly without hesitation to set themselves apart...and became largely a fringe movement in the Protestant agricultural/ industrial working class. Albeit conservative, Fundamentalism informed a cohesive community that was socially disenfranchised. These were the Babbits and Elmer Gantrys of yore: American kulaks, peasants, and small-town businessmen. They were hypocrites. But hypocrisy is a back-handed testament to the practice at which the practitioner fails.

This movement has subsequently devolved into the insipid evangelicals that we are blessed with today. (Should anyone not understand the difference, spend some time with the old-school fundie Gary North).

I wish all people would find Jesus. But I also have a problem with the current cultural paradigm of conversion. Per one reviewer's filter:

"Given our history, perhaps it's inevitable that many a modern midlife crisis will culminate in a spiritual awakening. But in our religion-saturated culture, I worry that we're losing touch with another great American tradition: the tradition of skepticism, rebellion and good old-fashioned orneriness.

In my own family, that's a tradition we cherish. I grew up hearing about my great-great-grandmother Mamie O'Laughlin. As her father lay dying, Mamie summoned a priest to his bedside. The priest sent back a message demanding $25, far beyond the family's meager means, and her father died without the sacrament. Later, when Mamie herself lay dying, a priest came — this time unbidden. He offered Mamie the crucifix. Summoning up the last of her strength, she furiously flung it across the room."
(Naomi Wolf Gets Religion)

I suspect that this kind of rage would not go down well with the current crop of the Godly. However the Jesus who flung out the money changers, charged Pharisees with hypocrisy, and social elites with criminality, would understand. And there it is: the tension between the frustration of belief, and a fatalistic acquiescence to an inert, oppressive status-quo.

Whatever the merits of Fundamentalist Protestantism were, (and I grant intellectual integrity and deep-seated faith), the weak tea of Evangelical Religion has become the douche of choice of the American bourgeoisie: an attempt to cleanse their filth by dropping Jesus' Name: Religion as avoidance.

I hope that my new-found sisters, Jane Fonda, Anne Rice, and Naomi Wolf, extend their radicalism, and their Feminism, as a result of encountering Christ. Hell. I hope I do too. Its getting hard though... its getting very hard.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Heaven Knows I'm Really Miserable Now

The Manchester Passion

The climax of the event sees Jesus sing the Smiths classic song "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" as he is being flayed by Roman soldiers.

He will then come face-to-face with his Roman prosecutor Pontius Pilate with the two of them singing a duet of the Oasis hit "Wonderwall" and its chorus:

"I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall."

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Crypto-Fascist Hoe-Down!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

イエス・キリストキリストのスーパースター

Jesus Christ Superstar in Japanese...

There's also a link to Rocky Horror Picture Show...in Norwegian.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Iraq Invasion: Now You Can Play Along at Home!


Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged.

> WEAR FLIGHTSUIT
You put on the flightsuit.

> SAY "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"
"Mission accomplished."

> EXAMINE MISSION
The mission is not accomplished.

> STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged.

Some insurgents arrive...


(courtesy Defective Yeti)

Friday, January 13, 2006

Secularist Liberals, Watch Out!

Finally there is a political candidate with a strong religious commitment, a belief in traditional values, and a respect for Law and Order, who is not afraid to speak his mind!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Chronicle of a Death Foretold

Posted on Thursday, December 29, 2005. From a letter by Heshu Yones, a sixteen-year-old Iraqi Kurd who was planning to run away from her family home in London. On October 12, 2002, Yones’s father repeatedly stabbed her and slit her throat, because he believed that she was dating a non-Muslim and had become too “Westernized.” Abdalla Yones is currently serving a life sentence for murder. Originally from Harper's Magazine, January 2004.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Blue State Seccession = Red State Fascism


Terry Preston writes:

Strom Thurmond and his racist gang gave states rights a bad name by constantly using it to defend American apartheid. But given all the blue vs. red going on, let's rediscover it.

If right wing Christians want to ignore science and follow Bishop Usher's belief that the world was created a little over 6,000 years ago, let them. They'll end up with ignorant kids in their schools but that's the risk they take. If liberals want universal health insurance, let 'em work it out at the state level. Collaborate with other blue states on a large insurance pool to spread risks and cover costs and leave the red staters dying by the side of the road without coverage if that's what they want...


Reminds me of this:

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There's beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coast-line. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed. "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them."


If seccession occurred then what goes for the Canadians would be doubly true for us albeit without beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers, streams.

Have you thought what a Red State Nation would be like? Its not like they'll be stewing quietly in some weird fundamentalist compound. These are the folks who want to hasten the Rapture by whatever means possible. They also have guns and an itchy trigger finger.

Per Lew Rockell: "[T]he populist right in this country has been advocating nuclear holocaust and mass bloodshed for more than a year now. The militarism and nationalism dwarfs anything I saw at any point during the Cold War. It celebrates the shedding of blood, and exhibits a maniacal love of the state. The new ideology of the red-state bourgeoisie seems to actually believe that the US is God marching on earth – not just godlike, but really serving as a proxy for God himself."*

When anticipating the level of cordiality between a Red USA and a Blue USA, Think Poland, circa 1939.

It may be that we have to accept living with meaningless health insurance, election fraud, fraudulent wars, and a dumbed down education system if it means that we keep the yahoos from killing us all.

* Red State Fascism - Lew Rockwell

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Hot Phone Fun!

Is your phone company gay?

This is one of the weirder artifacts of our home-grown Taliban.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Inpirational Thoughts

...from the Party of God:

This nation sits at a crossroads. One direction points to the higher road of the rule of law. Sometimes hard, sometimes unpleasant, this path relies on truth, justice and the rigorous application of the principle that no man is above the law. Now, the other road is the path of least resistance. This is where we start making exceptions to our laws based on poll numbers and spin control. This is when we pitch the law completely overboard when the mood fits us, when we ignore the facts in order to cover up the truth.

No man is above the law, and no man is below the law. That’s the principle that we all hold very dear in this country.
- Tom Delay (R-TX)

I suggest impeachment is like beauty: apparently in the eye of the beholder. But I hold a different view. And it's not a vengeful one, it's not vindictive, and it's not craven. It's just a concern for the Constitution and a high respect for the rule of law. ... as a lawyer and a legislator for most of my very long life, I have a particular reverence for our legal system. It protects the innocent, it punishes the guilty, it defends the powerless, it guards freedom, it summons the noblest instincts of the human spirit.

The rule of law protects you and it protects me from the midnight fire on our roof or the 3 a.m. knock on our door.
- Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.)


What is on trial here is the truth and the rule of law. Our failure to bring President Clinton to account for his lying under oath and preventing the courts from administering equal justice under law, will cause a cancer to be present in our society for generations. I want those parents who ask me the questions, to be able to tell their children that even if you are president of the United States, if you lie when sworn "to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth," you will face the consequences of that action, even when you don't accept the responsibility for them.
- James Sensenbrenner: (R-WI)


There can be no shading of right and wrong. The complicated currents that have coursed through this impeachment process are many. But after stripping away the underbrush of legal technicalities and nuance, I find that the President abused his sacred power by lying and obstructing justice. How can parents instill values and morality in their children? How can educators teach our children? How can the rule of law for every American be applied equally if we have two standards of justice in America--one for the powerful and the other for the rest of us?
- Chuck Hagel (R-NB)

I will have no part in the creation of a constitutional double-standard to benefit the President. He is not above the law. If an ordinary citizen committed these crimes, he would go to jail.
- Bill Frist (R-TN)

When someone is elected president, they receive the greatest gift possible from the American people, their trust. To violate that trust is to raise questions about fitness for office. My constituents often remind me that if anyone else in a position of authority -- for example, a business executive, a military officer of a professional educator -- had acted as the evidence indicates the president did, their career would be over. The rules under which President Nixon would have been tried for impeachment had he not resigned contain this statement: "The office of the president is such that it calls for a higher level of conduct than the average citizen in the United States.
- Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas)

“Gidget” theme author is dead.